The Sacred Art of Seeing Others

by Lori Wilson

Recently,  a friend told me he wrote a letter to someone who really mattered to him. What struck me was the intention behind it—this wasn't just any letter. It was what I call a Palanca, a type of letter I often ask people to write for adults or students preparing for a retreat.

The Spanish word "palanca" means lever, and that's exactly what these letters become: tools that help another person see something they might not have seen before. When you're on retreat and open letters from friends and loved ones, they transform into visible signs of God's love—living evidence you might have missed before, but now you're holding it in your hands.

There's profound power in sharing what we see in another person that is positive, in expressing how we feel about them, and recognizing the immense capacity they have to create good in the world. There's equal power in sharing how that person has impacted you, perhaps something you've never shared in the moment, or something you now realize really matters deeply. These letters build people up and help them feel truly seen, known, and loved. And isn't that what most of us want? To be seen for who we are, accepted as we are, and loved as we are.

The gift lies in the telling—and the power of receiving such a letter is immense. If you've never received one, pause and imagine what it would feel like. Once you capture that sense, let it move you to action.

Write one to someone you see every day, or perhaps to someone you haven't seen in a while but who made a lasting impression on you. Put pen to paper in old-fashioned style, or send an email—the method doesn't matter. What matters is allowing another human being to be lifted up by the gift of being truly seen. In this act, you're seeing with God's eyes and letting the other person hear it. It's a gift of inestimable value that will be treasured for years to come.

Reflection Questions:

• Who in your life has helped you see yourself more clearly through their words or presence? How did that feel?

• Think of someone whose goodness you notice regularly but may have never expressed. What would you want them to know about how you see them?

• When you consider "seeing with God's eyes," what does that mean to you? How might this perspective change the way you view the people around you?

• What holds you back from expressing appreciation or love to others? What would it take to move past those barriers?

• If you were to receive a Palanca letter today, what would you most hope to hear about yourself?