Know Yourself: Inviting God Into the Disturbance

by Lori Wilson

Several recent experiences have created what I call a disturbance in the force—moments that tweaked something deep within me, stirring up frustration, anger, and an unsettling I couldn't quite name. I needed time by the ocean to understand what was rising to the surface.

There, in that liminal space where water meets shore, clarity came: I was feeling manipulated.

We all have core desires—qualities we want to embody or experiences we deeply long for in our relationships. For me, it's authenticity. Honesty. Transparency in every interaction. When I sense its absence, the ground beneath me shifts. I lose my balance, that inner equilibrium that keeps me steady.

The psalm writer knew this territory: "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him" (Psalm 62:8). Pour out—not stuff down. Not repress. Not manage into polite silence.

What I'm learning is to allow these disturbances to happen. To use my voice when something feels dishonest. To express what's true for me, then return to balance as I process my emotions—not by bypassing them, but by moving through them.

I believe Jesus invites me—invites all of us—to live this authentic life. To express and process what we feel rather than letting it settle into our bodies and souls where it can hurt us physically and emotionally. Life doesn't arrange itself according to my preferences. It's rarely smooth or designed the way I'd like it to be. But I'm slowly learning how to navigate these turbulent moments without letting them fester, as I did in the past—which was never good for me.

This is sacred work: learning to honor what's true within me while staying connected to God and others.

Reflection Questions

• When have you felt a "disturbance in the force"—that internal alarm signaling something isn't right?

• What are your core values or desires in relationships? How do you respond when they're violated?

• Where might Jesus be inviting you to express rather than repress what you're feeling?

Prayer

God who knows me completely, help me trust you enough to pour out my heart before you—the anger, the frustration, the unsettled places. Teach me to honor what's true within me without letting it harm me or others. Give me courage to use my voice authentically and wisdom to process my emotions in your presence. Amen.