Freedom to Love: When Jesus Calls Us Beyond Our Attachments

by Lori Wilson

This past week I found myself wrestling with two of Jesus' most challenging passages:

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:26)

"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:37)

These words have always struck me as harsh. Yet as I accompany people through the Spiritual Exercises and the deeper movements of spiritual direction, I'm beginning to hear something different—not harshness, but an invitation to the most profound freedom imaginable.

Jesus is calling us to what Ignatius knew as spiritual freedom: that interior liberation that allows us to choose what truly leads us toward God and greater love, free from the disordered attachments that pull us away from our deepest purpose. This isn't freedom to do whatever we want, but freedom from the fears, compulsions, ego needs, and false securities that cloud our ability to discern and respond to God's movement in our lives.

When Ignatius speaks of "indifference," he means this holy flexibility—holding our deepest loves lightly enough that we can choose what serves love itself, even when it costs us something we thought we needed.

As I sit with these passages, I hear Jesus inviting me into this radical freedom. I've had to examine my deep need for others' approval—how much energy I've spent curating an image, seeking validation, living into others' expectations rather than God's call on my life. I've wrestled with my desire for permanence, my clinging to seasons and relationships and circumstances, as if I could somehow control the inevitable flow of change that is part of God's creative unfolding. And perhaps most challenging, I've had to confront my attachment to having things go my way—my subtle but persistent belief that I know better than the Divine how my life should unfold. This letting go isn't easy, but it's liberating. When I'm no longer controlled by what others think, by my fear of impermanence, or by my need to be in control, I discover I am free to be who I am authentically meant to be: a beloved daughter of God, held in love that doesn't depend on my performance or my circumstances.

This letting go isn't abandonment—it's the deepest love. When we're no longer controlled by our need to be needed, our fear of disappointing others, or our attachment to particular outcomes, we can love more purely. We can serve from freedom rather than compulsion. We can offer our authentic selves rather than who we think others need us to be.

Jesus' "harsh" words become an invitation to discover that our truest identity and deepest security rest not in our roles or relationships—precious as they are—but in our belovedness as children of God.

For Reflection:

• What attachments in your life might be keeping you from responding freely to God's invitations?

• Where do you sense Jesus calling you to "let go" not out of rejection, but out of love?

• How might greater spiritual freedom change the way you love the people closest to you?

• What would it look like to hold your most cherished relationships with open hands?

• In what areas of your life do you most need the courage to choose authenticity over approval?